party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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