I swear she didn't look like that last week.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Randomize
