i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
