Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
