her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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