just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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