it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Randomize
