Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
