garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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