shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
