I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
