Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
