He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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