I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
