So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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