i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
