I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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