i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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