I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
