I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
i now understand why vodka
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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