Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
