people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
