Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
