oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
