I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
