he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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