a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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