After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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