They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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