Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
