left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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