you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
God I need to hump something, right now.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
