Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
