I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
