it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
