just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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