If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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