the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
