Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
