He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
