my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
it was like eating out sand paper
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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