I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
