He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
