hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
too bad you live with your parents still
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
