Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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