is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
