I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
