member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
