I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
