the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
