i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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